Why I am a failure to Earth


I am an eco-friendly person. Ok, I do my very best and try to be.

But anyone who has tried to battle Mumbai’s intense SUPERCALFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIUOUSLY SMOLDERING heat for weather (I dare you to say that really really fast. hehe) will know that it always wins.

Let Granny Me share with you a story that happened to me recently. The other day, at around 8:30 pm (when it should be a lot cooler), I went downstairs to buy bread from a shop that is literally across the road from my house. You know the one, we all have one. If not… you probably still know what I’m talking about. So, I trudge along the road in my old trackie bottoms and loose t-shirt to go get some accompanying rations for my Nutella. I get there, spend practically 30 seconds in the shop, before waddling off with some change and my bread loaf.

I got home to find myself actually dripping with sweat. (How attractive) I was out of my cooler, raised flat from under the noisy-as-hell fan in my room for a total of FIVE WHOLE MINUTES and the had already heat reduced me to nothing more than a bucket of sweat and bread. I literally felt like the Wicked Witch of the West all, “I’m MELTING! I’m MELTINGGG!”

Right, so back to why I’m a failure to Earth. So boiling me has no choice but to get that A/C cooling on and collapse for a good ten minutes. Now those of you who don’t know, the A/C isn’t exactly great for the environment. And so for me, being the try-hard environmentalist I am definitely not, it was a moment of weakness. The heat played tricks on my brain!

I am writing this out of guilt, sitting in my room without the A/C on (applause please) despite the fact that it’s like 34 degrees celsius up in herre and I can’t even open the window because this is India and rats like my house.

Maybe I should take off all my clothes. Just kidding!

*UPDATE: It’s been just under 20 minutes and the A/C is already back on. I hate myself.


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